Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Islamofascist Drink-Lovers 1, Homeland Security 0

ARLINGTON, Va. — Passengers will be allowed to carry liquids on airplanes under new security rules prompted by FBI tests that show it's highly unlikely that terrorists could bring down a jet with a bomb made from small amounts of fluids, the nation's airport security chief said Monday.

Travelers may bring liquids and everyday items such as shampoo, toothpaste and makeup through security, provided they're stored in 3-ounce containers that fit in a 1-quart clear bag, Transportation Security Administration chief Kip Hawley said Monday. Passengers also can carry on liquids and gels in any quantity that they buy in airport shops after passing through security, including at duty-free shops. Drinks and other items are screened before being sold in secure airport areas.

Testing by the FBI and at government labs showed that small containers of liquids "don't pose a real threat," Hawley said.

Why... it's almost as if the threat was never real to begin with, and the government was only trying to scare us into voting correctly, this dire threat being announced as it was, the day after Ned Lamont defeated Joe Lieberman. But naaah, the government probably had a good reason to do this in the first place, right?

Jim Kapin, head of health and safety for the American Chemical Society, said small quantities of liquids could not seriously damage an airplane. Even if several terrorists smuggled liquid explosives on board, it is "practically speaking, impossible" to make a bomb on an airplane because of the equipment and expertise required, Kapin said.
Errrr..... uhm, okay, maybe we didn't have a point, but at least things are back to normal now, right?
A.J. Castilla, a screener at Boston's Logan International Airport and spokesman for a screeners union, said the new policy "is more confusing and certainly will add to the lines during the holidays." "We're just adding another level of screening to a screening process that was simple," Castilla said.

Travelers must remove the bags that hold liquids from their carry-ons so they can go through X-ray machines separately and be inspected by screeners. Each traveler may carry only one bag, which can hold several 3-ounce containers.
Okay, so I guess we're NOT back to where we were. Instead, we have to put all our liquids in a tiny bag, zip open our MAIN bag, get out the tiny bag, put that through the screener, zip open our computer laptop bags, put the laptops through, take off our shoes, put our shoes through, take any metal out of our pockets, put that through... and then rush back to the counter and buy a new ticket because we've all missed our fucking flights BECAUSE OF ALL THIS STUPID TERROR-MONGERING BULLSHIT.

I'M FUCKING SICK OF IT ALL. I'm now willing to sacrifice ONE PLANE PER YEAR so we can go back to pre-9/11 security. The airlines pay for the screeners, I go through a metal detector, put my bag through an x-ray machine and BLAM. Done. Guess what? Those screening measures would have stopped the 9/11 terrorists if only some twat in Washington hadn't decided that no one could kill anyone with a 3-inch knife or a boxcutter or a Leatherman tool.

What should have happened on 9/12 was those things and anything shaped like a nail file over 3" long should have become illegal, all luggage should have been mandatorily x-rayed, and that's it. Read that again: ALL FUCKING LUGGAGE SHOULD HAVE BEEN X-RAYED. It's not. Yup, 5 years after 9/11, not all bags are x-rayed. Wait, it gets even stupider: if I don't get on with my bags, then my bags are quite sensibly removed the aircraft, right? I mean, I could be a terrorist. Oh, but if I go to the airport 15 minutes before a flight, I can put an Air Cargo box onto the plane for $50 and I don't have to get on board with my box, nor does my fucking box get X-Rayed.

Yes, for $50 each, Al Qaeda could put bombs on every outgoing flight in America. Figure, they get 100 guys to do this all over the nation on the same day... ohmigod, for $5,000, Al Qaeda just blew all of Bush's expensive BULLSHIT SECURITY right out of the water. Billions on making American Citizens' lives harder, all ruined by $5000 and 100 Al Qaeda guys.

It's almost as if the Government's ENTIRE "airline security" measures are designed solely to make you FEEL like they're doing something when they're really not. Oh, and to make you constantly afraid and filled with the dread of ever-present Terrorism.

Instead of spending billions of dollars on machines that don't work and fucking up air travel for millions of voters, if we wanted to go overboard on security, then we could have set up a system of screeners like El Al airlines has where agents trained in micro-expression reading to roam among the passengers asking them questions and gauging their reactions. That's what the Israelis do. You know, the people who haven't had a single airline hijacking or terrorism incident in over 30 years?

But no, that's not what Bush-era security is all about. Our security is all about transferring taxpayer dollars to large corporations in return for political donations.