Is Condoleezza Rice a Lesbian?

Answer: I don't really give a shit, but obviously a LOT of Republicans sure seem to think so.

The always hilarious AmericaBlog has a great post up about whether Republicans' fears that Condi might be secretly gay is behind their super-uptight-outrage about a relatively minor comment made in Senate hearings yesterday towards Secretary Rice: "Who pays the price [for Bush's incompetence in Iraq]? I'm not going to pay a personal price. My kids are too old and my grandchild is too young," Boxer said. "You're not going to pay a particular price, as I understand it, with an immediate family. So who pays the price? The American military and their families."

Boxer is correct, that neither she nor Condi are going to pay a personal price in Iraq. But for some reason, the White House, and conservatives across the board, have jumped on Boxer's comment and gone ballistic over it. AmericaBlog thinks they know why:

One thing I've learned is that conservatives flip out the most when they think you've found their weak spot. ... The moment an enemy hits close to home, conservatives flip out in order to ensure the enemy never dares go there again.

What that suggests in the case of the Condi uproar is that, I think, the White House and conservative activists like FOX News are deathly afraid of Condi's unmarried status and what it might suggest about her sexual orientation. Condi is a potential future Republican presidential, or VP, candidate. She is a rising star (or at least was until the Iraq fiasco) in a party that has few stars left. And if Condi were to turn out to be a bit light in the Manolos, it wouldn't go over too well with the family values crowd that controls the Republican party. ... And while I tended to be agnostic on the Condi-is-gay rumors up until this point, the bizzarely vicious reaction of the White House and FOX News and Matt Drudge to this episode is starting to make me wonder if they know something I don't.

Ahh, Matt Drudge. Yechh.

I honestly don't give a crap if people are Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered or Magikal Faeire Elves. It's when you pretend that you're not a Magikal Faerie Elf in order to get elected, then turn around and use the Government's powers to enact draconian legislation which legalizes bigotry against your fellow Magikal Faerie Elves that I get mad... it's the hypocrisy of Gay Closeted Republicans like Ken Mehlman, David Drier, Mark Foley, Matt Drudge and Shepard Smith smoking a little pole in their private Log Cabin while making it illegal for other non-rich-non-connected gays to go about their lives that pisses me off.

As for Kinda-Skeezer Rice, I've always disliked her not for any theoretical Lesbian tendencies, but rather for her frigidity, her condescending demeanor, her lecturing schoolmarmish tone of voice and her incredible superpower to consistently tell George Bush whatever he wants to hear rather than what's true or what's likely. Besides, I think she's a 52-year-old childless spinster not because she doesn't crave penis, but rather because she craves only the one which she can't have: George W. Bush, or as she has refferred to him, "My Husband.

### UPDATE ###

Condi Rice has now punched back at evil Barbara Boxer. In an interview in the New York Times,

Ms. Rice suggested that Ms. Boxer had set back feminism by suggesting during the hearing that the childless Ms. Rice had paid no price in the Iraq war: "I thought it was O.K. to be single. I thought it was O.K. to not have children, and I thought you could still make good decisions on behalf of the country if you were single and didn't have children."

First off, since WHEN do Conservatives give a fuck about Feminism? Aren't these the same scumbags who invented the word "Feminazi" to refer to strong career women like Hilary Clinton? You don't get to kick women in the face and then complain when someone walks by and doesn't stop you.

Rice's faux feminism is completely NOT the reason for this comment... read Boxer's original comment again: "Who pays the price [in Iraq]? I'm not going to pay a personal price. My kids are too old and my grandchild is too young. You're not going to pay a particular price, as I understand it, with an immediate family. So who pays the price? The American military and their families. And I just want to bring us back to that fact."

What part of that can POSSIBLY be misconstrued as an attack on Condi's Feminist Right to have a career? That's a LUDICROUS interpretation.Rush Limbaugh also got into the act:

“Here you have a rich white chick with a huge, big mouth, trying to lynch this, an African-American woman, right before Martin Luther King Day, hitting below the ovaries here,” Mr. Limbaugh said on his radio show.

Once again Limbaugh demonstrates just how BAD his hearing has gotten as a result of his Oxycontin abuse. Boxer's statement CLEARLY had nothing at all to do with RACE. Bringing up the words "African American" and "lynch" and "Martin Luther King Day" is race-baiting of the worst type. Either Limbaugh is being disingenuous, or he's a racist who views all conflict in terms of black-vs-white.

He's in good race-centric-fixation company, though:

Deneen Borelli, a fellow with Project 21, which describes itself as a “leading voice in the African-American community,” said, “I am deeply appalled by Senator Barbara Boxer’s cruel and callous attack on Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.”

“The debate should have been about the war in Iraq and not a platform to demean Secretary Rice,” Ms. Borelli said in a statement issued by the organization.

Ms. Borelli neglects to mention (as does the NYT) that Project 21 is a far-right Conservative Fringe group, attempting instead to pretend that it represents the entire Africa-American community, something which they do not. Oh, and I thought it was Conservatives who were always bitching when blacks viewed everything through race-relations glasses? Guess what's good for the goose is NOT good for the gander.

Boxer is CLEARLY saying calling Rice a Chickenhawk: she never served, she doesn't have any children or family members who are serving, yet she's thrilled to throw other people's kids into a pointless meat grinder from the safety of Washington D.C. Moreover, Boxer then says that SHE ALSO has no kids who are serving. Point being, neither one of us two powerful broads is gonna have to bury our kid, but lots of other mothers ARE going to have to bury their dead sons because of what you, Condi Rice, are deciding to do here.

And, y'know, absent a dead kid, there aren't going to BE a lot of real-world consequences for Condoleezza Rice when her boss's SURGE-GASM 2007™ fails to produce victory in Iraq. Bush has already proven incapable of firing her incompetent ass (oooh, I referred to her ass, I must be anti-feminist!), so no matter how badly the war goes, her job is safe until 2008. When Bush's turn in office is over, Condoleezza will either return to academia and warping reality for a new generation of moron conservatives, or return to working for her other old employer, Big Oil (see, you forgot that one, dincha?), or go to some kind of Right Wing Think-Tank and attempt to use her Soviet-era mindset to analyze the modern world (like she does for Bush).

"I thought it was O.K. to be single. I thought it was O.K. to not have children, and I thought you could still make good decisions on behalf of the country if you were single and didn't have children."

It IS okay to be single (albeit a bit suspicious at 52 for a Right-Wing Conservative true-believer...) and it IS okay to not have children (although, y'know, your kind of fundamentalist nutjob supposedly believes that marriage exists exclusively for raising children with standardized gender roles by two parents of the opposite sex). And it IS possible to make good decisions on behalf of the country if you are single and don't have children (though I can't imagine a childless male bachelor getting elected to... well, much of anything in this country, much less President). No, the problem is, Condi, you make HORRIBLE decisions which dreadfully impact this country.