The United States of Torture

I, for one, am glad our President can now torture and murder prisoners at his own discretion. It makes me feel safer. At this point only a few more domestic terrorism scares and the death of 86-year-old Pro-Terrorist Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens, stand between American criminals and torture! Who wouldn't want to see John Mark Karr tortured and murdered for whatever it was he claimed he did but didn't really do this week? It's the catharsis that counts, dammit! He's a creep and I want to see him fry! If we'd only allow secret evidence in American trials, we would have our disgusting revolving-door-prison-industrial-complex system! Yes, I can't wait until they televise the first electrocutions from Guantánamo Bay! President Bush is right: those silly Geneva Conventions are quaint and outdated, as is the even older and more outdated Bill of Rights. Those passé rules put the rights of terrorists and other accused criminals above OUR right to live free of crime, and it's time we put a stop to it!