Many Happy Returns

The Mandatory Grief Orgy has passed! Now we can relax and get back to the essential work of preparing to rig the 2006 elections.

We've been getting the citizenry used to yearly outpourings of grief on the 9/11 anniversary in a number of ways; hightened terror alerts, diverted planes, rumors of impending anniversary-timed terror attacks (all this despite the fact that Muslims don't observe anniversaries of any sort and use a different calendar than America does. Why undermine the grief orgy and terror paranoia with facts?) and more. You might wonder at why we do this, but the answer should be as clear as the nose on your face. Just read George Orwell's "1984" –– with the grief-orgy comes a equal and opposite love-orgy, naturally!

Yes, I refer to Orwell's "Two Minutes Hate," a daily period in which Party members of the society of Oceania must watch a film depicting The Party's enemies (notably Emmanuel Goldstein) and express their hatred for them and the principles of democracy. The film and its accompanying auditory and visual cues (which include a grinding noise that Orwell describes as "of some monstrous machine running without oil") are a form of brainwashing, attempting to whip Party members into a frenzy of hatred and loathing for Emmanuel Goldstein and the current enemy superstate. It's common for those caught up in the hate to physically assault the telescreen. The movie, as it progresses becomes more surreal, with Goldstein's face morphing into a sheep as enemy soldiers advance on the viewers, before one such soldier charges at the screen, machine gun blazing. He morphs, finally, into the face of Big Brother at the end of the two minutes. At the end, the mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted viewers chant "BB" over and over again, ritualistically.

In our case, Dear Reader, we have the Murrkan™ Citizenry ritualistically chant "Dubya! Dubya!"

Err... you ARE cleared to be reading this page, correct? You're a member of the Upper Party? Wheh. Thought I might have let the cat out of the bag there.

Anyway, Orwell's Two Minutes Hate was extremely conservative in its time-restraints, which we here at the Ministry of Homeland Security can only put down to relatively poor worker productivity –– they obviously couldn't spare their drones for more than two minutes at a time! America, on the other hand, or Murrka™ as newsspeak would have it, has the most productive workers on earth. We here at the Ministry of Homeland Security ve managed to crank our Hate Time up to one full day with a few lead-in days of Corporate Sponsored Propaganda and a number of days of slanted "news" coverage. We've even managed to get America's Sweetheart™ to spin for us! Yes, it's a glorious time to be working for the Ministry.

Next year, we're hoping to equal Orwell's "Hate Week," a weeklong event designed to increase the hatred for the current enemy of the Party, whichever of the two opposing superstates that may be. During one particular Hate Week, Oceania switched allies, though the disruption was minimal: the posters against the previous enemy were deemed to be "sabotage" of Hate Week conducted by Emmanuel Goldstein and his supporters, summarily torn down by the crowd, and quickly replaced with propaganda against the new enemy, thus demonstrating the interchangeability of the two other superstates, and the ease with which the Party directs the hatred of its members. All members of Oceania must show appropriate enthusiasm during hate week as well as two minutes hate, ensuring that they are very against the opposing party and still very much allied with Big Brother. Orwell's Hate Week was officially celebrated from April 4th to April 10th... we'll be holding ours next year from September 4th to September 11th. In 2008, expect Hate Week to be expanded again from September 1st all the way through November 4th (Election Day). I don't have to tell you the electoral bonuses that will reap, haw haw!

Long Live Big Brother!